One of the strangest parts of this whole COVID situation for me has been the lack of motion in my life, when I am so used to catapulting between places. As I wrote this song a few months back, I was dreaming about stepping out, to go somewhere beyond borders, on a journey with an unknown destination and all the wonder and mystery that that brings.
But with time comes the knowledge that wherever I go, 'I' go too. And yes, freedom is something real and tangible, the sound of axles, the rocking of a train carriage, the change in air pressure as the plane ascends, the buckaroo of a small ferry crossing rough waters.
But it's also an inner state - even as the doors are thrown wide open, the self who still grieves, mourns, complains, strives, suffers will always follow and the walls will close in, no matter the new horizons that glitter.
Can I welcome that self in, invite her to sit at the table, no matter where I am? In a busy crowd, after a long and extraordinary journey or at home, in lockdown, in silence, in solitude?
I'll keep trying.
lyrics
One morning, one morning
With the sky slung dark and low
I left without warning
In the amber city’s glow
There were winter camellias
By the station master's shack
There were yesterday's papers
Playing chase upon the track
And my shadow rose to greet me
As the clock hands briefly clasped
My face making doubles
Like ghosts trapped in the glass
I return to find myself
To find myself again
I threw the doors wide open
But the walls kept closing in
And once I was a hunter
And I kept you in my sight
I hid and I followed
In the hollow of the night
And then I was a diamond
And I dazzled in your sun
The spring caused a fever
Made a thirst upon our tongues
And last I was an ocean
And I circled every shore
I scattered my sorrows
And I broke against your walls
I'll arrive to find myself
To find myself again
I threw the doors wide open
But the walls kept closing in
credits
from Gift,
released December 26, 2020
Vocals, harmonium, electric & acoustic guitar, found sounds - Ana Silvera
Recorded by Ana Silvera, mixed by Gerry Diver.
Album photo by Matt Hensby
Track photo by Alice Williamson
Ana Silvera is a London-born singer-
songwriter and composer whose folk and bluegrass-tinged tunes are lyrical, intimate and emotive, works of ‘lavish, vivid imagination’ (Metro)....more
No other album of anything close to this quality will be released before the end of the year, so I can safely say this really is one of the three best albums of 2019 (Brad Mehldau's 'Finding Gabriel' & Rachel Grimes' 'The Way Forth' are the other two). Wonderful compositions, gorgeous voice, superb musicianship #simplyfabulous John Ferguson
Thanks for the beautiful music Karine and Dave. it's been a while since I've felt so emotional listening to a new album. Every lyric is so beautifully supported by the piano parts. Laura-Beth Salter
Alec Bowman perfectly captures the dark soil under the pastoral world of British folk with this collection of melancholy originals. Bandcamp New & Notable May 12, 2020
The new EP from Scottish songwriter Alec Bowman_Clarke goes deep, setting vulnerable lyrics to gentle melodies & stripped-back arrangements. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 30, 2021
Fantastic. I'd read some online reviews which didn't like the spoken word parts. I love them. They fit seamlessly with the whole concept creating a thought provoking and awesome album. Steve Butler